📓 Patch Notes
a running confession of everything we've changed and broken.
Launchv1.0.0 — We're Live (You're In Danger)June 5, 2026 - Opened the doors to the public. Statistically, most of you will not leave through them.
- 8-player real-time lobbies, a mystery gauntlet of childhood games, and a Hall of Blobs that remembers everything you've done.
- Added Patch Notes, a Privacy Policy, and Terms of Service — because going public means lawyers exist now. We're as surprised as you.
Featurev0.9.0 — Night Mode & The FinaleMay 28, 2026 - Introduced Night Mode: random Hardcore rounds now happen in total darkness, so you can fail to see what kills you. You're welcome.
- Every gauntlet now ends on King of Lava Island. The floor is lava, the island shrinks, and dignity is not provided.
- Lantern 🔦 powerup added to extend your field of view, and therefore your suffering.
Balancev0.8.2 — Powerups Are Now Slightly Less of a TrapMay 19, 2026 - Rebalanced the powerup spawn table. Roughly half of them still want you dead — that's a feature, not a bug.
- Red-glow powerups now glow a more honest shade of regret.
- Bots will now occasionally walk into the bad powerups too, in the interest of fairness and comedy.
Bugfixv0.8.0 — Fixed the Thing You Were AbusingMay 9, 2026 - Patched a desync that let a small number of blobs survive Red Light, Green Light by simply… not following the rules. You know who you are.
- Fixed boxes occasionally clapping for the wrong corpse.
- Marbles now persist correctly across a series. Your hoard is safe. Your friendships are not.